Yes, I am exactly what the title reads. NUTS. I am still ruddy afraid of being committed to one person. To one true relationship which I have never been happier. To the guy who messages me 6am in the morning telling me I was the first thing on his mind when he heard the song "Endless Love", or the one who teared listening to that song simply because he misses me. Ironically, this, is the absofuckinglutely why I am so afraid of commitment or to just give him my all because I don't want to be the one getting hurt at the end of the day. I don't want this blissful ness to end. Or maybe I just won't accept myself being all alone, again, when I have tried my best in making this work. Without hesitation, I would be more than glad to break the wall that I have built around me throughout my entire 22 years of living, yet, it never fails to remind me of the consequences I would face if I do. I suck. BIG TIME. I know. Still am trying to work things out. It scares me out of my wit everytime the thought of it pops in my head. I am afraid of falling in love.
sigh. I, am working my brain out. I think too much. Should give it a rest already.
sigh. I, am working my brain out. I think too much. Should give it a rest already.