I looked across the dance floor only to find the guy I like standing at a corner, alone. And it happened. The magical moment. Our eyes locked so perfectly like a thunder could never exist without the flash of lightning. It was that spur of moment I have once missed. Yes, once missed. So, I thought "Hey, I should totally head over there and well, ask him to dance. With me". I mean, why not, with all the right signs from him. Halfway there, he turned and started dancing with a girl. I couldn't be any more disappointed. I thought I had the signs read correctly. I thought he was waiting for me to go up to him. I thought we had this thing called chemistry. Yes, I thought, I thought and I still fucking thought.
It could be the loneliness that has been kept in me for a long while. And so, I decided to just have fun the remaining night. Only with another guy. Not a stranger. Not an acquaintance. We danced, kissed, danced, cuddled, and more kisses. It was fantastic (if only the tiny voice in me hadn't reminded me that this is not THE guy). The kisses were great, and again, I ruddy thought we shared something special. Deejay started playing this slow contemporary song, "Right here waiting - Richard Marx". We slow danced along to the song. I felt currents traveling at the speed of light thinking I might have actually gotten myself a nice guy right here.
The song ends, and he whispered softly in my ears "It ends tonight".
I was completely taken aback. I had never expected this from him. Not after what we've been sharing the past couple of hours? And the fact that I was totally snogging him in front of THE guy. I was broken.
My heart is broken into a millionth pieces, like a paper being shredded over and over again, beyond any restoration. No glue or stitches could put it back together like how it used to be. Even if there's a way, the scars are way too painful to ignore. It hurts. A whole load. I will never be the same. Not anymore.
I wish I could avoid this feeling,
To bury it deep down within my core,
And never let it surface anymore,
Just because I can't afford to lose my remaining sanity in me,
And the residual of the feeling I once adore,
Love.
-su yoong-
It could be the loneliness that has been kept in me for a long while. And so, I decided to just have fun the remaining night. Only with another guy. Not a stranger. Not an acquaintance. We danced, kissed, danced, cuddled, and more kisses. It was fantastic (if only the tiny voice in me hadn't reminded me that this is not THE guy). The kisses were great, and again, I ruddy thought we shared something special. Deejay started playing this slow contemporary song, "Right here waiting - Richard Marx". We slow danced along to the song. I felt currents traveling at the speed of light thinking I might have actually gotten myself a nice guy right here.
The song ends, and he whispered softly in my ears "It ends tonight".
I was completely taken aback. I had never expected this from him. Not after what we've been sharing the past couple of hours? And the fact that I was totally snogging him in front of THE guy. I was broken.
My heart is broken into a millionth pieces, like a paper being shredded over and over again, beyond any restoration. No glue or stitches could put it back together like how it used to be. Even if there's a way, the scars are way too painful to ignore. It hurts. A whole load. I will never be the same. Not anymore.
I wish I could avoid this feeling,
To bury it deep down within my core,
And never let it surface anymore,
Just because I can't afford to lose my remaining sanity in me,
And the residual of the feeling I once adore,
Love.
-su yoong-
